Z is for Zippa-dee-doo-dah

ZWhen you were younger on the toilet, did you ever keep the bathroom door open?

We used to. It’s funny now but I was always scared. I was scared I might fall down the toilet, so the door had to be open for someone to run in and help me. I was scared someone would crawl down from the loft in the bathroom and attack me, so I needed the door open to escape. I used to watch The X Files a lot and always imagined the character Tombs to crawl up from the toilet. That one just freaked me out the most.

cute-feet-danglingIf I needed to pee in the middle of dinner, for some reason I wouldn’t turn on the hallway lights but I’d run upstairs because I was scared of the dark (because that makes sense?) and sit on the toilet with the bathroom door wide open so I could hear the noise of everyone downstairs which would make me feel less scared.

But, sitting on the toilet with my feet dangling, I used to peep downstairs because it was opposite the bathroom and I would be terrified I’d see something start to crawl upstairs. Sometimes I swear my mind used to trick me and I’d see things move in the dark.

You’d think the solution would be to either turn the lights on in the hallway or…just close the bathroom door. But no, I’d sit on the toilet, feet dangling, arms a swinging as I’d sing Zippa-dee-doo-dah over and over again until I’d done my business.

Strange isn’t it, the things we do or think of to protect ourselves or to make ourselves more confident. Even now, I can hear the song in the back of my head if I need to approach something scary or walk into a situation I’m not familiar with.

What do you do when you’re scared of something?



|| Part of the A to Z Challenge ||

A post a day except Sunday for the month of April to cover topics beginning with each letter of the alphabet.

Previously on A to Z:

Y is for what you can do in a Year

X is for Xena Warrior Princess

W is for Winning the Most Innovative Blog Award

V is for Val Kilmer

U is for Ursula

T is for Talking

S is for Snoring

R is for Reality

Q is for Queen

P is for Paleo

N is for Norwegian Trolls

M is for (not) Making Friends

L is for Love (cue puke)

K is for Keyser Soze

J is for Jiminy Cricket

I is for Investigative Journalism

H is for Hibernate

G is for the Great South Run

F is for The Fureys

E is for Everlasting Gobstoppers

D is for Derren Brown

C is for Coffee

B is for Bill Bailey

A is for Avocado

7 responses to “Z is for Zippa-dee-doo-dah

  1. Hahaha! In my old flat, we had stairs without risers. At the age of 25, I managed to convince myself that there was a monster living under there who would grab my feet if I climbed the stairs in the dark. My coping mechanism was to go to bed before my boyfriend.

  2. You’ve been busting for a pee for over an hour. God dammit, why did that film have no ad breaks? Sod it, it’s over now. You fiddle with the toilet lid.

    “Why is this even down?!”

    With the lid ripped up you plonk your butt down and…


    You scratch at an itch on your thigh. Then the back of your leg starts to tickle. Dammit. An awkward lift and scratch and the sensation disappears. But then it’s back, a fiery, soft tingling, as if something had brushed against your…

    A giggle.

    “Hello?” You call out into the room, the echo of your voice escaping the open door.

    The guys are downstairs but this giggle came from upstairs. This room.

    The eerie giggle sounds again and you slowly lower your head. You’re staring at your own thighs, blurred in the background your pants wrapped round your ankles.

    It can’t be.

    If you could just grab your pants and run then…the tickle comes again. This time you feel it, not just an itch, something touched your leg.

    Oh Jesus Chris, please be a spider. A big fucking hairy eight eyed son a bitch with fangs and poison and a really bad temper, anything but…

    Something slaps your arse hard. Then a hand reaches through your legs and grabs a hold of you. Through the obscured view of the toilet pan you see a face smiling up at you.

    “Wanna have bad dreams?”

    You scream.

    But it’s too late.

    The door slams.

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