20 Reasons Why Food Is Better Than People

2480_53054251246_9177_nYou might have noticed over the last two weeks I’ve been blogging a lot more about food. Because I love food? Yes. And also because I’ve become a lot more conscious about what I eat (or at least trying to be).

I no longer want to fill my body up with bad food (apart from on a treat day on a Saturday maybe).

And although I have paid a lot of attention to food, my blog has by no means turned into a food blog. It’s a lifestyle blog which refers to anything and everything…which might include chocolate on more than one occasion 😀

It was by chance this morning while in a reflective mood that I came across Jessica Blankenship’s blog on ThoughtCatalog.com

Not only did it genuinely make me laugh out loud, it made me feel better about my love for food and my reclusiveness so I wanted to share it:

20 Reasons Why Food Is Better Than People

  1. If you are careless with a pie, and you break the pie and it dies, you can just replace it.
  2. Potato chips don’t give you a judgmental side-eye when you turn on your 8th episode of a show of the day on Netflix while rejecting a call from your mom.
  3. If you fall asleep with a half-finished pizza in your bed, it doesn’t steal the covers.
  4. Sub sandwiches don’t subtweet.
  5. Pringles are amazingly consistent. You always get the same thing, so you’re never disappointed. There are literally no humans who are that dependable.
  6. Bagels don’t talk shit behind your back.
  7. Brownies don’t post 87 engagement photos on Facebook that seriously look exactly the f*cking same.
  8. Fried rice doesn’t expect a Valentine’s Day present, or a birthday present, or Christmas, or anything except to be eaten. That’s all it wants. That’s all you want. You and fried rice share the same dream.
  9. Cupcakes don’t cut you off on the highway.
  10. Sushi never told you repeatedly that it was over its ex even though it totally was not over its ex.
  11. French toast never texted you for like a week straight and acted really interested in you but then completely ignored you in person.
  12. A burrito won’t “accidentally” delete the new Parks & Rec from DVR before you watch it.
  13. Oreos won’t let you pay for lunch every time you hang out and always promise to “get it next time”.
  14. French fries don’t ever ask you what your plan is after grad school.
  15. No one’s boyfriend has ever been stolen by a Pop Tart.
  16. Popcorn doesn’t talk during the movie.
  17. Tacos don’t get pissed off if they see you eating another taco.
  18. Smoothies don’t pick fights with you that bring out your worst traits and make you question if you’re turning into your mother.
  19. Pancakes would never tag you in an unflattering picture that they only uploaded because it’s a cute picture of them and not give a shit how bad you look.
  20. Bacon doesn’t get skip dinner because it thinks it’s gained weight, then drink on an empty stomach, get way too drunk, puke and get a little of it on your top that you just bought, and then make you listen to “Royals” like 18 times before passing out on your couch. Bacon would just never do that to you.

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7 responses to “20 Reasons Why Food Is Better Than People

  1. Sing it, sister! I’m headed to Target after work for some M&Ms because M&Ms don’t care if I’m a team player or call me hostile. I’m going to buy 2 bags.

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